|
|
It’s Okay
IT'S OKAY TO GRIEVE: The death of a loved one is a reluctant and drastic
amputation, without any anesthesia. The pain cannot be described, and no scale
can measure the loss. We despise the truth that the death cannot be reversed,
and that somehow our dear one returned. Such hurt!! It's okay to grieve.
IT'S OKAY TO CRY: Tears release the flood of sorrow, of missing and of love.
Tears relieve the brute force of hurting, enabling us to "level off" and
continue our cruise along the stream of life. It's okay to cry.
IT'S OKAY TO HEAL: We do not need to "prove" we loved him or her. As the
months pass, we are slowly able to move around with less outward grieving each
day. We need not feel "guilty", for this is not an indication that we love less.
It means that, although we don't like it, we are learning to accept death. It's
a healthy sign of healing. It's okay to heal.
IT'S OKAY TO LAUGH: Laughter is not a sign of "less" grief. Laughter is not a
sign of "less" love. It's a sign that many of our thoughts and memories are
happy ones. It's a sign that we know our memories are happy ones. It's a sign
that we know our dear one would have us laugh again. It's okay to laugh.
Grief–If We Avoid It, Will It Go Away?
Grief is as old as mankind but is one of the most neglected of human
problems. As we become aware of this neglect, we come to realize the enormous
cost that it has been to the individual, to the families and to society, in
terms of pain and suffering because we have neglected the healing of grief.
Essential to a grieving person is to have at least one person who will allow
them, give them permission to grieve. Some people can turn to a friend or to a
family member. Some find a support group that will allow one to be the way one
needs to be at the present as they work through their grief.
Dealing appropriately with grief is important in helping to preserve healthy
individuals and nurturing families, to avoid destroying bodies and their psyche,
their marriages and their relationships.
You can postpone grief but you cannot avoid it. As other stresses come along,
one becomes less able to cope if one has other unresolved grief.
It requires a great deal of energy to avoid grief and robs one of energy for
creative expression in relating to other people and in living a fulfilling life.
It limits one's life potential.
Suppressing grief keeps one in a continual state of stress and shock, unable
to move from it. Our body feels the effects of it in ailments. Our emotional
life suffers. Our spiritual life suffers. We say that the person is "stuck in
grief".
When a person faces his grief, allows his feeling to come, speaks of his
grief, allows its expression, it is then that the focus is to move from death
and dying and to promote life and living.
|
